Finally.. i've picked up enough of the little courage i have to ask her for her number.. thou it isn't a difficult task.. but when u have a crush on the girl... it makes things complicating.. thou my target is to get her number.. and i have it already , but i feel guilty.. i actually resorted to trickery.. (at least to me) talking to her bout o level results and finally the words " your phone number??" . well.. that was .. infact exciting.. i was anxious.. i was scared.. in my heart i knew that she would give it to me.. but the pessimistic side of me got the better of me.. i felt it lurking round the corner.. whispering "she might not give it to you.. u dont be so happy" from experience, i learnt that being excited to early will give you an equal amount of dissapointment.. thats the only evil thought i couldn't get over now.. i don't want dissapointment.. but i know it's inevidable.. so i've made up my mind.. when i wake up.. i will show my emotions no matter in what circumstances.. let people know im happy.. let them know when im sad.. and most importantly.. i have to control my negative emotions.. anger.. and that headstrong character i have..

btw.. ihave to train up.. the food and all.. they're killing me.. cutting precious oxygen supply and contributes to the strain that my worked out heart is already having so much of.. musthinkpositivemusthinkpositivemusthinkpositivemusthinkpositivemusthinkpositivemusthinkpositivemusthinkpositivemusthinkpositivemusthinkpositivemusthinkpositivemusthinkpositive

currently.. im waiting for my results, it seems an eternity . No words can describe the way im feeling at the moment cuz it seems like theres a mountian full of worries.. but i feel as if im in space looking at this mountian, where the worries looks insignificant . Wait.. theres another feeling... i think it's loniness.. We grow and our friends starts to leave us because of work. well not exactly leave us.. but they distance away with those not too close. unlike the primary, secondary schools and jc bonding.. it's so fun.. results are coming out on friday.. i wanna treasure that day.. where i meet my secondary friends.. hope time will freeze that day .

anyway.. people who are petty.. pls.. trying to severe contact with those u are unhappy with is really childish.. u live only once.. why be so serious and kill everybody around u?? all i ask is forgivness for those i've done wrong to and i do not wish for u to forgive me.. biut i just hope that u will let me hve the chance to sort things out .. and that u are willing to clarify the matter with me and not try to block me on msn and not reply to my messages.. thanks